PRIME TIME, BABY!

YEAH, YEAH ONE OF MY PUPPETS POSTED THIS PIECE FROM REALITY NEWS SHOW. HEY I DON’T MIND THAT KIND OF EXPOSURE-IT’S SHOW BIZ... NOT FEEL GOOD ABOUT LIFE BIZ. YOU NEED THICK SKIN TO BE STAR AND THIS SHOW PROVES I HAVE! NO REALLY! WHAT I DO MIND IS NOT BEING MENTIONED BY NAME! IF I GET BRAIN DAMAGE I WANT STAR BILLING! AND THEY DID NOT MENTION THE FACT I WAS RESEARCHING FOR ROLE OF MICHAEL MYERS IN HALLOWEEN 2! AS YOU SEE I CAN TAKE A LICKIN’ AND KEEP TICKIN’ JUST ASK THE POUBELLE TWINS grrrrrrr. I CALL MY PRIVATES THE TIME BOMB... GET IT?

IN THE END I DIDN’T GET THE PART BECAUSE I WOULDN’T SLEEP WITH THAT HORSE-FACED LADY PRODUCER WITH WEIRD FOOT FOR THE ROLE….WHO AM I KIDDING? I’D LET THEM FILM IT, BUT I REQUEST IT MUST BE IN 3D IMAX OR NO DEAL….HEY NOW THERE’S AN IDEA?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY !

This time I know I have found my Daddy. We are practically twins. The bedroom eyes, the come sit on my face and spin grin... I feel like I am looking in mirror. So I say to you my Daddy, "Why do you not send chid support check?" I am hungry, no really. You are 81 please let go of some of those dollars.

RIFF RAFF TURNS 69!

Mr. Riff Raff is getting old, but not as old as my mother. If he is looking for a cougar he should head on down to Ladies Room at bus station and ask for Easy. She could do Time Warp with pelvic thrust. No really.


Hey how did this guy get statue in town square? I guess I need to wear fishnets to get much respect.

WHAT THE FUCK !?

Kashmir tells me there is a horror host convention this weekend. I say," this is not possible because I have not received invitation". But then I see advertisement and my eyes do not understand. How could my puppets gather and not have their hero to guide them? Maybe they are afraid I steal the show again. No really, I ran off with all the money last time. I have children to feed. Below I have put proof of this event. Who are these people?


I think I saw this clown in crowd at Phantom Jam taking notes and stealing my act.


Is this man a Dracula? He looks like Mr. Doblonski the man at meat counter who cuts my swiss cheese slices.


Now we have cowboys in the horror game? Wasn't he in Casino? Yeah, Joe Pesci smacked him with telephone.


Son of old hippie maybe.


Okay now we are talking. Talking about something happening in my trousers. This one can host my horror anytime. No really.



I do not care to go to this Horrorhound weekend because I stay home and play dirty Frankenstein with these two ladies I still have locked in basement from Phantom Jam 2009.

HMMMMMMMMMMM?

This scene from classic big monkey movie reminds me of a blind date I have with female parole officer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREAT MAN !

Today we celebrate life of greatest man in the world Russ Meyer. He is the man who invented big boobies.

I don't understand why he is with this chick. She is fat and wears glasses. Although I do think under that sweater are huge knockers.

Very nice torpedoes. Maybe we drop those on Libya.

How can she shave? She can't see down there since 2nd grade. No really.

Time to direct the scene. Don't get you melons caught in the clapper.

STUFF TO BUY!

Here is beautiful shirt to now be purchased at Halloween Town. I need you my loyal puppets to buy this shirt. I need money to pay for Mommy's boobie job. Left nipple has begun to sag. She must look her best to bring home the bacon. Don't ask, just give me your money.

IS THAT YOU DADDY?

Is that my Daddy? Has Uncle Coffins long lost dead-beat daddy finally returned to inflict more pain? No, it is Hollywood movie star Harry Dean Stanton! I ran into Mr. Stanton at Crazy Girls just as club was closing. I was about to seal the deal with a couple fine dancing ladies when nature called and I had to drain my snake, by snake I mean my male organ, no really. Anyway when I returned Mr. Hollywood had stolen both my girls.
Come to think of it I have never met my Papa. I now tell world that Harry is my Daddy. He could be.

I am Daddy's favorite little mistake. My mother was whore so It could be the case. Can you see it in his eyes?

Soon after this photo was taken police took me away. Now I must stay fifty yards away from new Daddy.

NOW THAT'S A MOVIE!

WHAT THE WHAT?

Oh how my fans love me. They worship my every motion and try to be like their Uncle Coffins. This is no possible I am genius. I am lightning in a bottle. No really. Now watch fans try for my greatness.

I AM BACK!

I have returned after short stay in maximum security facility. I have very smooth lawyer from old country he slide judge an extra goat and I walk. Although now I must stay 100 yards from Tito Jackson at all times.