Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Official Scary CLown trailer!

Yeah, Yeah, I know, I know the summer is almost over-you don’t need to tell me. Tell those blood-sucking, money-grubbing producers in charge.

I decide to take charge and promote by borrowing un-used trailer from editing sweet-Let me tell you-there’s nothing sweet about those editors, the room smelled like a goat pen from the old country.

Okay do you want to watch little boys on brooms, grown men in tights and over-wrought robot monsters this summer? Or do you want to see the most passionate film filled with beautiful women and the lust for life in the spotlight.? You decide.

It’s time to make yourselves heard my puppets of destruction.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

SCARY CLOWN RIDES AGAIN

SCARY CLOWN = CHICK FLICK?!



When I say to you, prospective audience, this, the most anticipated MASTERPEICE is everything to every demo-you must believe. You need laughs, SCARY CLOWN gots it in spades. But if you need a date nite with your old lady-SCARY CLOWN delivers the Romance AND Pathos with a CRYBABY named RENEE, that will break your heart and your HEUVOS! Fellas, “she’s got the squeezebox that makes the grown man cry!” I serious! After a session with RENEE my privates looked like a bowl of CALIMARI TAR TAR! No really!

Please enjoy a dish of estrogen with your gal in this, the EXCLUSIVE #6 courtesy of Waaa, Waaa, Waaa What’s Her Name?…I joking…no I serious, I already forgot her name again…enjoy. Prego.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

MORE SCARY CLOWN!

It’s inevitable that I must include my Mommy in this, “The most-anticipated, International, Horror-Genre, Bio-Pic of the 2011 Summer: SCARY CLOWN". Hey dirty ol’ Baby Boomers, I must capitalize on your 401K money and in return you can capitalize on my Mommy! Who am I kidding, dirty ol’ anybody…she practically had relations with Mr. Rob Zombie’s whole crew running the HELLBILLY DELUXE 2009 TOUR in which I most memorably hosted in New York City).

Hey naughty crew, I hope all your genital regions are intact and functioning properly again-I sorry. I make mistake to bring her-makes sense, I was born a mistake!

No Really!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

YOUNG COFFINS

Here is picture of Young Coffins with my grand parents. We live in roadside diner by the power plant so every meal was blue plate special. No really, I have very tough life.

Friday, May 13, 2011

MEET THE JUDAS SISTERS / SCARY CLOWN EXCLUSIVE #4

YOU’VE HEARD OF THE JONAS BROTHERS-PLEASE MEET THE JUDAS SISTERS, BETTER KNOWN AS THE POUBELLE TWINS WHO STICK THEIR SHARP TOUNGES (OR ELBOWS OR KNEES) IN MY BACK EVERY CHANCE THEY GET. THAT’S OKAY, I LIKE THE ROUGH HOUSE-I TAKE IT. THEIR VERY UNGRATEFUL BANTER IS DEMONSTRATED BEAUTIFULLY IN THE “MOST ANTICIPATED BIO-PIC THIS SUMMER”: SCARY CLOWN, WHICH SHOWS THE COFFINS, WARTS AND ALL. I NO AFRAID. YOU CANNOT HAVE TITLE LIKE SCARY CLOWN AND BE AFRAID. HEY I LIVED WITH THOSE TWO PORCELIN PITBULLS TOGETHER IN A STUDIO FLAT DURING THEIR MONTHLY CURSE- TIMES TWO! AND SURVIVED! NO REALLY!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The True "most interesting man in the world"-No Really!

FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO!


HOLD THE MAYO! I MEAN HOLD THE TWINS! THOSE BEING MY FAVORITE FRENCH GALS BIBI Y FIFI LAS POUBELLE TWINS! YOU BELIEVE I COULDN’T FIND SOME MEXICAN CHICAS FOR THIS PHOTO IN LOS ANGELES? NO REALLY! I MEAN; NO REALMENTE?! I DID CONSIDER USING MY EX-WIFE BUT SHE HAS A MUSTACHE, BEARD AND BROW THICKER THAN ME AND THAT’S NOT CONSIDERED SEXY IN ALL THE FOREIGN MARKETS!

SPEAKING OF MARKETS, THIS PHOTO IS ACTUALLY A STILL FROM THE MOST-ANTICIPATED, INTERNATIONAL, HORROR-GENRE BIO-PIC; SCARY CLOWN OR SCARY PAYASO FOR YOU LATINOS EN EL MERCADO ESPANOL!

NOW REMEMBER AMIGOS, NO DRINKING AND DRIVING TODAY, HOWEVER TONITE I PLAN ON DRINKING AND DRIVING THE TWINS HOME BUT THERE’S NO MOTORCAR INVOLVED! NO REALMENTE!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

SCARY CLOWN

I have made beautiful new film. This is the one to prove all the haters wrong or right? Either way I come out on top... of your mother. No really.